I woke up in the middle of the night, frightened of what I had begun.
I knew all along I was going to have to face this. My editor and mentor had said to me several times, for several days, “Are you sure, are you ready to begin this?”
We both knew this was the real step. The months of writing the book was “the easy part”. The step of plastering it all over the internet was the part that was going to make me feel vulnerable.
And that’s how I woke, suddenly alert, I had started this.
Out of courtesy, even though Mum had told me not to contact her, I had to let her know what I was doing. I didn’t want her to hear it from someone else.
I sent sent her a text:
“Mum, just letting you know, I’m writing a book about my life. I’ve also set up a web page and Facebook page. I didn’t want you to find out from someone else. I’m writing about my whole journey so I can help others who’ve been kicked out or who want to leave. I know you won’t be happy but it’s going to help me a lot.”
Her response wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
She implored me to make sure I told the truth, that they had tried everything to help me, so that I wouldn’t get kicked out, and that I was the one who had chosen not to follow Jehovah. I had caused my own expulsion. And then she thanked me for letting her know.