My first blog- Attacks of Panic as I finally decide to no longer hide my real identity

I decided to go ahead and let the world know about my life.

Its a big decision. To set up a Facebook page, Instagram, website, and tell the whole world about the past you’ve been hiding all your life.

I tried to be smart and stay anonymous. I created a whole new profile under my Maiden Name. I could hide behind it.

I started receiving hate messages straight away from current Jehovah’s Witnesses on my Instagram posts.

My design to stay anonymous then went pear shaped when Facebook decided to share all my “anonymous” posts on my normal Facebook profile.

It didn’t occur to me until a notification came through. My friend had liked my post.

I choked! My worlds had collided!

I freaked out. My heart racing. I quickly thought of all the people that had been my friends on Facebook. I imagined each and every face reading my posts about once being a Jehovah’s Witness!

It felt like Facebook had hemorrhaged. I quickly decided to post “an explanation” to my friends and “an apology” about my “weird” posts.

Instead of what I feared most-abandonment or derision- I received incredible support. I felt embarrassed at my slip up, but really, was this meant to be?

Instead of a half- truth coming out, I was forced to admit my identity to absolutely everyone!

My next hurdle was “What if my Mum discovers my page? She will. She will be so hurt. And my brothers.”

In my next post I discuss how I chose to let them know (out of courtesy).

 

 

 

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